How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
I was researching an article and happened to contact a former colleague who is now an industry analyst. He remembered me – and also remembered some of our co-workers. X was a fat jerk. Y was a stupid cow. Z was a ******* *******. Apparently, I was okay, and he gave me a little help. Still, he continued negative and caustic about everyone and everything he spoke about. His attitude permeated and poisoned everything.
This encounter left a bad taste in my mind. I would not want to work with this guy again. No matter what his expertise, I have no intention of consulting him again. His personal style has alienated me.
It's a fact that there's more to the world of work than facts. People have to get along with other people to accomplish anything worthwhile. If someone's behavior makes it difficult or impossible to work with them, they lose out. In the case of this former colleague, he will lose out on the possibility of future free publicity for him and his services by me in my articles. That may or may not be significant, but he loses.
I've been guilty of similar things, if not to the same degree. I was working on one assignment for a publication I enjoyed writing for, when I made a foolish mistake. A large printer manufacturer was dragging their feet about giving me information for the assignment. I suggested that they provide me with the information, or they would miss their opportunity for free publicity in the article. They were outraged by my suggestion, and informed the editor that they didn't like my behavior.
Now, I was perfectly right in what I had said to them – but I was still wrong. No matter how I felt about the way they were treating me – and they were very patronizing and uncooperative – I should have been diplomatic and patient with them. I wasn't – and the publication never gave me another assignment.
I've learned my lesson. Since then, I have been in many similar situations, but I've never betrayed any impatience with anyone. It's annoying in the moment, but in the long run it's the smart move.
My colleague hasn't learned his lesson, and may never know how his behavior has affected his career.
Learn from both our mistakes, and always be positive in your dealings. You never know what negative result you may be avoiding.
This encounter left a bad taste in my mind. I would not want to work with this guy again. No matter what his expertise, I have no intention of consulting him again. His personal style has alienated me.
It's a fact that there's more to the world of work than facts. People have to get along with other people to accomplish anything worthwhile. If someone's behavior makes it difficult or impossible to work with them, they lose out. In the case of this former colleague, he will lose out on the possibility of future free publicity for him and his services by me in my articles. That may or may not be significant, but he loses.
I've been guilty of similar things, if not to the same degree. I was working on one assignment for a publication I enjoyed writing for, when I made a foolish mistake. A large printer manufacturer was dragging their feet about giving me information for the assignment. I suggested that they provide me with the information, or they would miss their opportunity for free publicity in the article. They were outraged by my suggestion, and informed the editor that they didn't like my behavior.
Now, I was perfectly right in what I had said to them – but I was still wrong. No matter how I felt about the way they were treating me – and they were very patronizing and uncooperative – I should have been diplomatic and patient with them. I wasn't – and the publication never gave me another assignment.
I've learned my lesson. Since then, I have been in many similar situations, but I've never betrayed any impatience with anyone. It's annoying in the moment, but in the long run it's the smart move.
My colleague hasn't learned his lesson, and may never know how his behavior has affected his career.
Learn from both our mistakes, and always be positive in your dealings. You never know what negative result you may be avoiding.
posted by Ed DeJesus at
8:50 AM
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